found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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