As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
