It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
