Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
