dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
