Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
