okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
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