his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
