Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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