I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
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