You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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