I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
