My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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