we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
