Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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