I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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