As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
