so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize