Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
