we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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