you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
