Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
