You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
