I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
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Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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