Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
