Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
