I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
