U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
no you cant smoke seaweed
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
