You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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