I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
