Who wears a wallet chain?!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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