Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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