everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
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she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
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It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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