D3 body, D1 cock
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
