please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
