Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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