these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
