When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You ruined the universe
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