well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
