I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
