What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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