break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
