first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
