I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize