yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
