we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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