We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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