I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
