So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
