In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
