It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
