belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she smelled like a LAN party
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
