I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
