so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
