"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize