She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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