do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
