My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
