Do vagina's smell?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
