Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
