plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
