Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
