yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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