trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
