Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
