I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
