did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
3 2 1 whiskey
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
