I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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