I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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