Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
that may or may not have been my penis.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
